Peasant Railgun


  • PC

    1)Hire a ton of peasants; let’s just say that it is two thousand two hundred and eighty. Line them up in single file; this will form a chain of peasants two miles long.

    1. Buy a ladder. Just buy a standard, ten-foot ladder. Disassemble the ladder into a bunch of rungs and a pair of mighty ten-foot wooden poles. Hand a pole to the peasant at the back of line.

    2. First round of combat. Peasant at the front of line readies an action to throw the pole at the enemy. Every peasant behind him readies an action to hand the pole to the peasant in front of him.

    3. Next round: peasants fire off their readied actions, passing the pole two miles down the line and hurling it in six seconds or less. Pole accelerates to the speed of 1188 miles per hour, or Mach 1.546875 in dry air, at 20°C/68°F, at sea level on our planet.

    4. Peasant Railgun can be reloaded and fired in less than 12 seconds.
      Variations - Really, your choice. Weapon is scalable, you could use your peasant railgun to fire a number of things at a really long range. Add more peasants to make the weapons even faster; paint them red to make them fasta. Use gobbos to make a DnD grot cannon. Hurl pointy bombs for HEAT weapons. Severed heads make an impressive psychological warfare tool. It’s even more wild with a bag of holding - place a team of fighters in it for DYNAMIC ENTRY over castle walls and shit, hurl some fucking bear cavalry directly into enemy lines, who knows. You can also throw a halfling monk to take full advantage of Flurry of Blows at 1200 mph.

    5. ???

    6. Motherfucking PROFIT


  • PC

    so, using that same logic, a baseball pitcher throwing a 100mph fastball can launch said baseball to another pitcher, who catches it and adds his own 100mph fastball speed creating a 200mph baseball ???

    gee, if it was that easy, you’d think some team might do a centerfielder > 2nd baseman > pitcher combo and start cranking balls THROUGH the batter/catcher/umpire 😉 certainly make for more interesting sports here in 'murica


  • DM

    @orc said in Peasant Railgun:

    Next round: peasants fire off their readied actions, passing the pole two miles down the line and hurling it in six seconds or less.

    Handing the pole is a move action that takes time. A readied action only makes you ready to do it instantly upon the pole being given to you. But the actual act of passing the pole forward is a move action each time.


  • PC

    @dwarf Yes but as our friendly neighbor hood Half Giant says " Its a fantasy game, full of fantasy and not reality "


  • PC

    aye, green machine - but in the absence of MAGIC, standard physical laws still apply 🙂 and while said overly large giant can probably MATH out the number of kilojules of energy to propel a 10’ pole at Mach 1.5, you’re not likely to get him interested in such a mundane expenditure of his grey matter.

    ** or why not just do what i recently suggested on FB to deal with intrusive migrant caravans - and fly 2 miles up, over your target and pour out a bomber-load/portable hole full of bricks ? pretty sure a brick travelling at terminal velocity vs anyone’s head is gonna swiftly reduce whatevers underneath to something resembling hamburger ** 😆